Do Not Marry, Do Not Have Children

The following story is somewhat bleak in its perspective, however I have included it to highlight the fact that many men are not too keen to marry because of the many challenges that may exist should this union be broken.

However, life is full of risks and if we don't want to get hurt we could just stay home and avoid everything, but this would make for a rather boring life.

I for one have amazing daughter and plan to have another child in the future, I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful women and we plan to get married next year. While I cant agree with his advice, it is a sure sign that plenty of men are hurting but the solution is not to put your head in the sand but to stand up be counted and demand that legislation is enacted to amend these inequities.

The following article is by Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D.
Men's News Daily 14 November 2007

Marriage is a foundation of civilized life. No advanced
civilization has ever existed without the married, two-
parent family. Those who argue that our civilization needs
healthy marriages to survive are not exaggerating.

And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young
men to marry today. For many men (and some women),
marriage has become nothing less than a one-way
ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how
easily “the divorce court leads to a jail cell,” mostly for men.
In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young
men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.

Spreading this message may also, in the long run, be
the most effective method of saving marriage as an institution.
For until we understand that the principal threat to marriage
today is not cultural but political, and that it comes not from
homosexuals but from heterosexuals, we will never reverse
the decline of marriage. The main destroyer of marriage,
it should be obvious, is divorce. Michael McManus of Marriage
Savers points out that “divorce is a far more grievous blow to
marriage than today’s challenge by gays.” The central problem
is the divorce laws.

It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce. But
widespread misconceptions lead many to believe it cannot
happen to them. Many conscientious people think they will
never be divorced because they do not believe in it. In fact,
it is likely to happen to you whether you wish it or not.

First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit
any legal transgression. Under “no-fault” divorce laws, your
spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons.
The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any
questions.

But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for
breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by
filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have,
also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly
get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude
you from them, without having to show that you have done
anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your
children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children
you will be subject to arrest.

There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why
they are seizing control of your children and allowing your
spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of
proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you
should be allowed to see your children.

The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for
your spouse to divorce you and take your children.
(All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations
control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and
spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall
comes through the children. With custody, she can then
demand “child support” that may amount to
half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is
set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and
enforcement agents – all of whom have a vested interest in
setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend
it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets
the tax deduction.

You could easily be left with monthly income of a few
hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or
sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own,
borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards,
they then call you a “deadbeat dad” and take you away in
handcuffs.